Dear Public Toilet Hoverers, Sit Your Ass Down or Clean Up After Yourselves

The other night I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians (judge me all you want, it’s entertaining and mildly endearing) and the younger Jenner girls posted a video of their mom Kris going to the bathroom in the shared public restroom of her office building. It ended up on YouTube and Kris received a phone call from Khloe (I believe) asking her why she was sitting down on a public toilet. “Why aren’t you squatting?” she said (or something like that) to which I yelled at the TV “BECAUSE IT’S A PUBLIC TOILET IN HER OFFICE BUILDING AND SHE’S CONSIDERATE!”

Allow me to fill in my possibly clueless, male readers. Some women have a truly disgusting habit. When using a public restroom, they will hover over the toilet instead of sitting down in order to avoid the “doodie parasites” (10points if you get that reference). When they do this, they inadvertently spray urine all over the toilet seat, back of the toilet and the floor, rendering the bathroom stall even more horrendous than a urinal at the diviest of dive bars. Then they just walk out of the stall leaving the next poor, defenseless, non-germaphobe, toilet sitter to clean up after them.

It’s gross right? I’m sure you’re thinking, “Why don’t they just use the toilet seat covers that are now available in nearly EVERY public restroom?”

I have no idea. I also can’t fathom why anyone would believe that it would be OK for some other person to have to clean up their bodily waste.

I can’t possibly be the only other woman who is pissed off about this. I’ve only heard one other woman express disdain for this atrocity.

I generally like to give people the benefit of the doubt and used to think “They just didn’t notice.” Now I realize, there is ABSOLUTELY no POSSIBLE way of not noticing!

So, I am now resolute. I’m not going to take it anymore. If you exit a stall and I walk in after you, only to find a pee soaked seat, I’m going to call you out.

I will come back out of the stall and mention loudly “EXCUSE ME! It appears you made a mess in here! Maybe you should come back and clean this up.”

You’ve been warned, Hoverers.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Antonette
    Mar 28, 2014 @ 17:36:54

    I couldn’t agree more!

    Reply

  2. Dianne Carpenter
    Mar 30, 2014 @ 06:33:43

    I’m with you, Sister!

    Reply

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